Thanksgiving is nearly here. Time to spend lots of time preparing food and then gorging myself in it. Ha. This year things are going to be a little different. We actually have people coming over. My two older brothers, my sister-in-law, my mom of course and my uncle, and then my childhood bestfriend. A wonderful little gathering. All that's missing is my guy. He's got a much bigger family and Thanksgiving is a grand tradition which I completely respect, though he will be missed. We used to do alot for Thanksiving when my golden gram was alive. Since then, we've celebrated by going out to the Country Kitchen for their $7.95 all-you-can-eat turkey dinner buffet. Hahaha. So pathetic, but it was so fun going and looking at all the other losers. Good times, good times.
Some years ago I made it a tradition in my family that we go around the table saying something we're thankful for. I've been thinking of all the things I'm thankful for this year. So much has happened, in the past week alone, that has changed the direction of my life. I'm thankful for these things, it's what I've been praying about, but now that I have them I'm scared. Of course I know it's natural to be scared of change, the unknown. And I'm sure everything will work out fine. Yet I feel this sinking feeling in my stomach. A little voice of doubt that keeps asking, what if I'm not as happy then as I am now? Just in case that voice is right, I'm doing my best to hang on to every moment and savor it.
I'm thankful for my family...that I have them and that I get along with them (most of the time, haha). I'm thankful for my health...one of the things most often taken for granted, but I realize how great it is every time I get sick. I'm thankful for this peaceful town I live in. I'm thankful for the beauty of the country side. I'm thankful for the rain...being able to see it come from a mile away and the sound it makes against my bedroom window. I'm thankful for candles...these little things that bring me peace and a little warmth and a soft aroma. I'm very thankful to be in love...to feel such joy...and pain...but to know that I'm feeling and responding. I'm thankful to be alive. To continually learn and gain experience of this beautiful, sometimes frightening, world in which I live.
